I have 3 kids all below 6yo, and can't understand why people believe they have to make so many sacrifices for their kids. I go drink beers with friends every week-end, my wife and I watch movies, go hiking or camping with the kids, do normal stuff adult do. At home, with the kids, I do the stuff that I like and listen to the music I like, watch cartoons with them. I'll never force myself to listen to shitty kid music, or watch silly cartoons: I have found some cartoons that we all can enjoy (Miyasaki, Les Shadocks, Old Disneys, Pink Panther, ...)

I also consider that sacrificing yourself to your kids is not only bad for you, it is bad for them too: it is a burden on their shoulder they didn't ask for. Moreover, faking it do not work, they'll know before you that you are bored by shitty kid's music or cartoons. Oh, and we play Lego together too.

That said, I have a hard time to believe that you could get away without any sacrifices (not talking about neglect).

Those diapers don't clean themselves, and although small children themselves are rarely boring and in fact mostly hilarious, you still can't just go on with the same activities you had before and possibly would prefer at that moment.

Additionally, kids are very different when it comes to needed attention and and care. Some children wake up at 4am, others nicely at 8 or even 9. Some children are sick more than others, some children are more "low-maintenance" (ugly word for a human actually) than others.

The children's age is of course a huge factor. The younger they are, the more the balance between your needs and theirs tips more to the side of them, and I think rightly so.

I still want to reinforce you sentiment that children do not need to be one big sacrifice and constant burden. They can be a nuisance at times, but mostly they are just great human beings in a very special time of their life, and you have the privilege of keeping their company.

The older they get, the less they need your labour, and can hold their own. For that reason alone, you should not give them 100% pampering all the time.

And yes some kids are much more difficult, but still a big part is on the parents. If you're never afraid or worried about other people yourself, your kids are more likely to be sociable with other adults. Just one example, many other would come to mind.

Also I have moderate and adaptable needs when it comes to entertainments, so I can spend most of my time with the kids doing stuff I like. When kids are below 10 they enjoy mostly to be with their parents or siblings, regardless if it's watching cartoons or watching dad fixing stuff. But someone who would be found of extreme hiking would not be able to bring the kids on the Everest, obviously.

However I'm also picky and will not usually do the activities I dislike. E.g. I hate zoos and so we don't go there. (Farms are ok)

Because different circumstances.

My first kid was an absolute angel, sleeping through the night pretty much well from the get-go. My wife and I did the same as you - kept life normal, and all was good.

My second child has had massive issues sleeping, starting anywhere from 8-9pm, and lasting until 3 or 4am.

We tried everything, some things that worked, some things that didn't - the main issue though, is that while you're trying stuff you're still not getting sleep, and that just - well, it destroys you.

If people can keep regular lives when this happens, I take my hat off to them. Personally, I struggled hugely - and that's where the "this is a sacrifice" bit only begins.

(and this is coming from someone who has it relatively easy: not being dirt-poor/having multiple jobs/being separated/a million other issues that make life that bit trickier)

On the other hand, maybe people should stop making so many sacrifices for work and simply be more efficient. With one newborn at home and another one in the making, I cofounded an early stage startup. Difference was, we got 6 seasoned industry veterans as founders and validated product-market fit before even starting out. That way, none of us really killed themselves (pretty normal 45-50h focused work weeks and weekends off), and we still have growth that's through the roof. I really like that I can have both.

Granted, as a single child, it seems that being left to my own devices so often while growing up may have added to my introverted tendencies. However, having some siblings around should help my future little introverts find balance.

I don't think your parent's post is necessarily representative. It depends a lot on the child and the circumstances. E.g., we live relatively far away from family, so we cannot just bring our daughter to her grandparents for a sleepover.

Our life has definitely changed and where there used to be a lot of time to hack and tinker, it's far less now. Our daughter falls asleep easily and sleeps until 8 or 9 in the weekends, so we are still pretty lucky :).

The important thing is that you also get a lot back. Having a child is a lot of fun. They are cute and do funny things. And you can do nice things together, like going to a playground or hiking a bit.

I also think having a child put more balance in our lives. Work is really 8:00-17:00 (you have to pick them up ;)), but you also become more focused and efficient.

You can "opt out" of a lot of this, some of it is trial and error to find the right balance, and some of it is phases that come and go. But your kids will probably need and want things from you that will require a lot of your time. mostly you'll gladly do it, and that is the price of being parent.

I started coding in my spare time and me and my partners only quit the day jobs when the company was pretty much self-sustaining. 7 years later we are an established and fast growing company (and if you're Dutch: We're hiring! https://www.tilaa.com/en/jobs ;).

I'm not sure if things are much different in the US (I'm from the Netherlands), but I definitely think it's possible to have it both (a loving family and a flourishing business) without making big sacrifices.