• Aerials that react to certain frequencies have to be sized appropriately, so even if they were in the shots they wouldn't fit through (and would therefore be filtered out by) the needle.
• And even if it could, the aerials would be too big to fit in your cells.
• Even if they could, it wouldn't cause your cells to vibrate; RF oscillations don't have a “direction” that alternates, so they can't set off vibrations like that (unless the aerial has a specific shape, but the effect would be tiny (way less than the vibrations from road noise, or clicking your teeth together) even if you put it in a microwave).
• Vibrating your cells doesn't damage your DNA. Putting your arm in a blender wouldn't even damage your DNA! (Proof: singing doesn't cause cancer.)
• You're not going to get something resonating to the sidebands without a phase-locked loop (or similarly sophisticated circuit), which requires more than just metal, and certainly wouldn't fit through the needle.
And that's just the second sentence! This is well-written satire; it's got nearly one fatal error per word, yet it still manages to sound plausible. (Edit: I missed some; I've probably missed more.)
• There's no metal in COVID shots.
• Aerials that react to certain frequencies have to be sized appropriately, so even if they were in the shots they wouldn't fit through (and would therefore be filtered out by) the needle.
• And even if it could, the aerials would be too big to fit in your cells.
• Even if they could, it wouldn't cause your cells to vibrate; RF oscillations don't have a “direction” that alternates, so they can't set off vibrations like that (unless the aerial has a specific shape, but the effect would be tiny (way less than the vibrations from road noise, or clicking your teeth together) even if you put it in a microwave).
• Vibrating your cells doesn't damage your DNA. Putting your arm in a blender wouldn't even damage your DNA! (Proof: singing doesn't cause cancer.)
• The carrier wave is “the frequency”. The signal is transmitted in the sidebands. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sideband
• You're not going to get something resonating to the sidebands without a phase-locked loop (or similarly sophisticated circuit), which requires more than just metal, and certainly wouldn't fit through the needle.
And that's just the second sentence! This is well-written satire; it's got nearly one fatal error per word, yet it still manages to sound plausible. (Edit: I missed some; I've probably missed more.)