It matters. Smart people get that feedback is necessary when you're making great stuff, and that feedback is useless if it's never negative. But smart people also get what a speaker's tone means. Communicating arbitrary message X politely shows you respect the person with whom you're talking. Communicating the same message X rudely shows the opposite.
If you have to tell me something I don't want to hear, I'll feel much better afterwords if you say it nicely. That's because I'll know you respect me enough to put in the tiny bit of effort required to say it with a smile. I won't think you're a manipulative, cynical jerk who underestimates my intellect and assumes I can be won over with cheap psychological tricks. I'll think you're a decent person with good social graces. Which is something from which people in the tech world are not exempt.
BTW, I speak from experience. Every boss I've ever had has understood the importance of how you say it when managing. Conversely, I've known others who have had bosses that didn't get it. Guess who was happier at work?
If you have to tell me something I don't want to hear, I'll feel much better afterwords if you say it nicely. That's because I'll know you respect me enough to put in the tiny bit of effort required to say it with a smile. I won't think you're a manipulative, cynical jerk who underestimates my intellect and assumes I can be won over with cheap psychological tricks. I'll think you're a decent person with good social graces. Which is something from which people in the tech world are not exempt.
BTW, I speak from experience. Every boss I've ever had has understood the importance of how you say it when managing. Conversely, I've known others who have had bosses that didn't get it. Guess who was happier at work?