Unfortunately for me my parents don't at all see the issue in sharing photos they take of my daughter on the social platforms they frequent and think my concerns are overwrought. She's young enough now that it isn't a major issue, but when she's older and her face is going to be more like the one she'll spend the rest of her life with, there's going to be a big argument about it.
They almost certainly value seeing their grandaughter more than they value having facebook accounts, so you have a lot of leverage over them if you feel strongly about this. Threaten to cancel your future trips to visit with them if they don't knock it off. Explain your reasoning of course, it's not a response you want to take but your daughter's safety and privacy come first.
i raised you. you have no business telling me what i can or can't do.
ok, hopefully most people have a better relationship with their parents, but i do think for many it does come down to either being able to explain to them the dangers of social media so that they get it, or accepting their parents actions, because threatening your parents that they can't see the kids of they don't stop is in most cases not a healthy move.
that is not what this subthread is about. this is about the question whether it is reasonable for me to threaten my parents to not let them see my children if they don't stop posting photos of them on facebook against my wishes.
to me a good relationship with my parents is more important than staying out of facebook.
what's more, at least in germany, grandparents have a legal right to have contact with their grandchildren. i would have to convince a court that posting pictures on facebook is so harmful that this right should be revoked.
I understand your position and sorry if I have caused offense.
I guess we just see things differently. To me a "good relationship with my parents" involves mutual respect of boundaries. It shouldn't even get to the point of threats.
I understand that for some and maybe even yourself this may be an unlikely outcome or you might just think it not worth the effort on this particular issue given how pervasive social media already is.
well yes. what is the outcome for my children if i do not allow them to see their grandparents?
to me, a good relationship with my parents (and inlaws) and between my children and their grandparents is more important than preventing any photos made of them.
You know the situation better than any of us here so trust your own judgement.
However, it's more than just preventing photos. It's about respecting boundaries. At some point your parents need to respect your authority in your children's lives. They're your children, not your parents children. Ultimately you are responsible for their wellbeing. They should be supporting your parenting, not undermining it.
This, obviously, is one issue among many, and may not be representative of a broader pattern. From your hesitation it sounds like this is one disagreement in an otherwise healthy dynamic. Again, you know better than us. But if it is a pattern, I encourage you to play that pattern forward. If your parents don't respect your boundaries, what does it look like if your parents don't respect your children's boundaries as they grow?
we seem to have different priorities. to some here it seems of primary importance that their parents respect their boundaries. to me, forgiveness, tolerance and a healthy relationship with my family is more important, and my boundaries that i don't want violated are much tighter.
My parents had several issues with boundaries on this point, and in the cases they are allowed to see my kid, they are not allowed to take pictures. Pictures must be taken with my wife or I's phone.
