Where the hell does this "we were all given medals for trying" meme come from? I came in fourth or fifth place or sixth place in a lot of activities as a kid and I never got a got a trophy for any of them. Is this idea backed up by any kind of analysis? Is there an "ur-quote" somewhere that all subsequent repetitions of this idea have descended from?
More to the point, the real salient feature of the "Milennial" job market experience is ruthless competition for top colleges and elite jobs, with sharply declining prospects for those who don't make the cut. No generation since the Depression has had to throw so many elbows and jump through as many hoops to carve out a livable career, which makes these kind of coddled-kids feature-length sighs incredibly frustrating to read.
The specific instance that this guy is shaking is head over is especially silly. He's throwing this kid some b.s. resume-boosting make-work basically as a personal favor, and he's surprised the kid doesn't treat it like a white-shoe interview?
I think he over-generalizes with the statement "we were all given medals for trying", I didn't grow up in that kind of environment but I have seen exactly what he is talking about. When I was about 16-18 I started to notice it, the removing of the possibility of failure which manifested itself as "everyone gets an award", "Removal of star roles in plays, transitioning to everyone having a small part so no one felt left out", "Everyone is a winner, there are no losers", etc. I have 2 big issues with this kind of thinking:
1) That's not how the real world works so you end up setting these kids up for failure
2) If you never fall down you never learn how to pick yourself back up
I completely agree with your statement about the texting. He hung out with this guy outside of professional channels multiple times (Pizza/Walks/etc) so why would he expect this guy to suddenly change his method of communication when it comes to job. Not to mention by his own admission it wasn't an awesome job, he was offering it a favor/because he liked the guy.
My dad is real estate agent and the majority of his younger clients (<35 years old) all text him concerning looking for a house/selling a house. I still remember the first time he got approval to put an offer on a house via text, he thought it was crazy at the time but now it's a regular thing for people to make a $250K-$450K decision via text. If anything I like doing it via text more because I have a full record of everything said. I am looking to buy a house right now and I communication with my agent almost 100% via text.
I don't think there's inherently anything wrong with teaching kids that you can do activities just for pleasure, personal improvement and bonding with others.
There's already plenty of opportunities to be competitive as it is and the real world does not always reward super competitive behavior. There is often more value in encouraging and facilitating others than in seeking personal glory.
No generation since the Depression has had to throw so many elbows and jump through as many hoops to carve out a livable career,
As a Gen X-er, I can counter that specific argument, but as to your overall comment, perhaps I can explain:
There was a massive shift in thinking in the late 80s/early 90s in education that valued the promotion of "self esteem" above all other educational outcomes. This drastically changed how children were taught and handled as they were growing up. In many cases, this was entrenched in such practical matters as "not keeping score", "not worrying about spelling", "not being too critical" and ensuring every child understood that "they were special".
Of course, any one person's particular exposure to this line of though and its effects on them varies greatly. Suffice to say that many people saw this as counter productive, and more recent research has shown that in many ways it has been exactly that; or rather, misguided interpretations of fostering self-esteem have led to the creation of over coddled babies masquerading as young adults.
Unfortunately, your generation is saddled with this stereotype whether you like it or not. Even more unfortunate is that it is not hard to find plenty of examples of support. This is no less true than my generation being labeled disillusioned slackers.
Have you been to a kids soccer game? Everyone makes the team, everyone gets to play, and everyone gets a little trophy at the end of the season. Some leagues don't even keep score.
I'm in my mid-thirties and I can give you an exact age that I saw this happen - 8 years old.
My elementary school always had a 'field day' where the home room classes in the different grades would compete in simplified track and field events. Simplified as in things like a standing long jump, tug of war, 50 yard dash. There were a lot of events but you could only choose to be in 2 of them.
Apparently my class decimated the competition. Whoops. The most athletic kids just happened to be placed in the same home room. We had the fast kids and we had some big, strong kids (we owned tug of war by a large margin). We got almost all of the first and second place ribbons, maybe a third here and there.
So, the next year (2nd grade) there were no first, second, or third place ribbons. Everyone got a participant ribbon and that was it. The teachers were instructed to not talk about anyone being 'winners'. I know this because my mother was a 1st grade teacher there and we've talked about this a couple times over the years.
I'm still young, I remember ruthless cuts for baseball teams, and then all star traveling team selection after that. It was very much not "everybody gets to play"
Exactly, I think this is the distinction people miss when promoting this meme. Most kids soccer leagues are not competitive, and not meant to be. It's meant to be fun, and inclusive and get kids interested in sports and being outside and not being obese. It makes sense to be universally encouraging in these contexts.
Kids who show a serious interest and aptitude and join competitive leagues definitely find themselves having a very different experience.
Is this any different from how it used to be for previous generations?
Yes, that is what we are trying to tell you.
I'm 38. I remember scores and standings in my soccer leagues all the way back to when I first started playing at 7. I don't ever remember not keeping score.
I'm not arguing this is good/bad. Coaching now I actually think it is better for younger children to not get too caught up in scores and stats and instead learn the game.
To say there hasn't been a noticeable change in the last 10-15 years though in our approach is just ignorant.
A kids soccer game is different than a competitive league. The point of having your kid join soccer is for them to get exercise, have fun and make friends, not to see what team is the best.
If they were still doing the "everybody plays, everybody gets a participant ribbon" thing on the varsity team, that would be weird.
More to the point, the real salient feature of the "Milennial" job market experience is ruthless competition for top colleges and elite jobs, with sharply declining prospects for those who don't make the cut. No generation since the Depression has had to throw so many elbows and jump through as many hoops to carve out a livable career, which makes these kind of coddled-kids feature-length sighs incredibly frustrating to read.
The specific instance that this guy is shaking is head over is especially silly. He's throwing this kid some b.s. resume-boosting make-work basically as a personal favor, and he's surprised the kid doesn't treat it like a white-shoe interview?