I question "refuses to talk to me :("... Have you really tried going back up to her and saying "Hey - wanna go hit that beer joint again?"
Perhaps you're just assuming the worst...
Also, the simplest way to not look like you're hitting on her is to go with a group. If you have other really smart, into computers, funny, etc. etc. people who enjoy beers, why not get some of them together anyway, and then ask if she wants to come join you. Even if she says no, you still get to suck down your $20 beers and talk hacker stuffs.
What would be great is, since as you did say she's a smart programmer, if she also reads HN and actually has a chance to give her side of the story on this. Sounds like it would be a fairly unique situation for her to identify. That would be so priceless...
Perhaps you're just assuming the worst...
Also, the simplest way to not look like you're hitting on her is to go with a group. If you have other really smart, into computers, funny, etc. etc. people who enjoy beers, why not get some of them together anyway, and then ask if she wants to come join you. Even if she says no, you still get to suck down your $20 beers and talk hacker stuffs.
What would be great is, since as you did say she's a smart programmer, if she also reads HN and actually has a chance to give her side of the story on this. Sounds like it would be a fairly unique situation for her to identify. That would be so priceless...